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Sunday, January 24, 2010

WHAT IS A RAINBOW BABY??

Those who read this post are very likely all too familiar with the definition of the term rainbow baby, but I found a post that answered it well on BCC, and I wanted to share it here.  

It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of any storm. When a rainbow appears, it does not mean that the storm never happened or that we are not still dealing with its aftermath. It means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover, but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.

Graice will forever be our first born. We will love her and honor her memory for the rest of our lives. The clouds of her absence will always linger, but we hope to see our rainbow in the form of this little Jellybean.

Monday, January 18, 2010

CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC

Over the course of 5 days I have had several (okay, seven) positive home pregnancy tests, but all with light lines. I decided to end the suspense, and had blood drawn this morning for a definitive answer. When I got my blood test with Gracie, I just popped into my PCP's office one morning, asked for a pregnancy blood draw, waited a few minutes, and then was on my way. I tried it the same way this morning - what a debacle it turned out to be. My PCP joined a new office/group about 2 months ago, and everyone is still in the transition phase. I travel every day for work, but not in the direction of her office. Today was a school holiday here, and I had to drive right past the new office to get to another appointment, so I figured that I would pop in and ask for a quick blood draw.

I went to the window, told them whose patient I was, confirmed that they did blood draws there in the office and then asked for a pregnancy test. The receptionist looked at me and said "Okay...Do you have a doctor's order for one?" I was NOT expecting that. I said "No. This is my primary care office, so I thought that this was where I came to get that?" She said "Well, we can't do any blood draw for anything without a doctor's order." Now keep in mind that it was about 8:30 and the waiting room was full of people, so there MUST have been a physician, a nurse practitioner or a physician assistant there who could have written an order....and I specifically asked if there wasn't someone there who couldn't write an order. She said "Let me go check." Seriously??? So she went and got a nurse, who came to the window and said "Do you have orders for a pregnancy test?" Again, I said "No. This is my doctor's office. This is where I get the orders. I don't know where else to get them." "Well, why do you need a pregnancy test? Did you miss your period?" I just stared at her, wondering if people randomly come in to get blood drawn for pregnancy tests just for kicks. I finally just said "I'm late, I've had 7 positive HPT, and I had an almost full term stillbirth in August. I'd really like to know for sure if I'm pregnant and what my Hcg level is at this point. If there isn't a doctor here that can order a test, can you at least fax me an order later that I can take to the hospital later this week?" She said "Have a seat and we'll get you in a few minutes." When she called me back a few minutes later, she apologized for the confusion, and blamed the fact that things run much differently 'in this office than they apparently did in Doc's old office.'

Anyway, the blood was drawn, and she told me as I was putting my coat on that it was going to go out early enough for them to have the results back this afternoon. I hadn't heard anything by 5:30, so I called to see if the results were back. The girl who answered the phone said that they were, in fact, back....but that they had not been reviewed by a doctor and she could not discuss them with me until they were. Seriously??? Just tell me if I am pregnant or not. She said that it was possible for someone to still call before the end of the evening.

I got a call around 6:15 from my PCP to confirm that we are, in deed, expecting baby number two. It is still really early - Jellybean's estimated due date should be around September 23rd, and there are lots of things that can happen in the coming weeks. But we are cautiously optimistic. Our first OB appointment is not until February 12th, so there won't be much news until then unless something unexpected creeps up...