We have our first prenatal appointment on February 12th. I'm getting a little nervous and anxious about the appointment. While I would rather miscarry early in a pregnancy than lose another baby very late in pregnancy, I would really prefer neither. At this point, for no specific reason, I really expect to go in and not see an 8 week peanut on the US screen. I have no evidence to support that is is what will happen, I am just expecting the worst (but hoping for the best) at this point.
There were no appointments available this past week or this coming week with any of the midwives, so the appointment is with one of the physicians - of course it is with the only physician that we had no contact or experience with during or after our pregnancy with Gracie. I am sure that the events of the last year are clearly outlined in my chart and that it will not be a surprise to her when we start talking, but she doesn't know us. She doesn't know anything about us or who we are. She does not know anything about how we approach pregnancy. I was looking forward to sitting down with our midwife during the first appointment and discussing a few things from Gracie's pregnancy, and getting a tentative path mapped out for this pregnancy (based on everything that's happened, I just feel like that would be best done with the midwife that delivered Gracie.). Now I kind of feel like we are going to go in, get the ultrasound, listen to the suggestion for the first trimester screening, get the 'Do you have any questions?' line and be on our way. Perhaps it will be different than I am expecting, but I'm not holing my breath. If I am right, we will have to wait about 4 more weeks to have that conversation - if we are able to get scheduled with the midwife of our choice. *Sigh*
On another note, the cravings are apparently starting. Last night, all I wanted was a big plate of grease - a big sampler of greasy things - cheese sticks, onion rings, french fries, chicken fingers... The hubby obliged and I devoured said plate of greasy things, and now I feel like there is a brick laying in my stomach. *big sigh*